I’m developing probably too many projects at once, with some amount of overlap between them. Amidst the notes I’ve made for these projects are ideas that may never be fully realized. Instead of lamenting that likelihood, I’ve decided to start posting excerpts here. This first one is dated 11/4/20:

“Dramatizing, in somewhat condensed/accelerated form, the entire process of just offhand, without even thinking about it, saying ‘no, it’s not’ and then thinking it through a split second later and becoming more consciously defensive and then really starting to think about it, reflexively building a counternarrative, and every time you think of a new way in which it could be true, your defensiveness surges and you kind of argue with yourself, and it’s an argument you make without trying (this part of the process can loop for a long time, perhaps eventually slowing down, but you can fall back in even if you’ve progressed) and then approaching a place of acceptance that it could be true, and you acknowledge that possibility out loud, but still with a dismissive undertone, with a reluctance to making a full-throated  concession of the possibility (and even probability) and apologizing for being so resistant before.

“Different layers of your body processing, as you get closer to the core.

“A kind of metabolization.”